Greetings:
To be completely honest, I suppose it really began by a desire to change! But, change from what to what? Keep reading and you will soon understand. I suppose it got fueled by praying that little prayer we’ve all come to know as the Prayer of Jabez. That one line; “expand my territorial influence for You, Lord.”

If you are not serious and do not truly mean the words, do not pray the Prayer of Jabez. If you are open to God and sensitive to His calling:

He will expand your territory
God wants to bless His Children…He will and ha
God wants to keep us from temptations…He will if we as
He has a plan for each of us…even me

What I’m about to share is only one issue of many that men struggle with inside as well as out of the church. They are issues that face ALL of us, but we almost NEVER talk about them. As men, we hate to admit weakness; insecurities or those areas where we have struggles, so we act like we don’t have any.

In January of 2003, I was sitting in the front of the sanctuary with some friends. We were on the next-to-the front row squeezed in like sardines. The worship was awesome that Sunday morning. We were worshiping with the college kids, primarily young men. These young men worship so freely. I was praising, singing and worshiping right along with them. The Spirit was present and moving. I sat there and the Spirit clearly washed over me. I looked around and realized that many of these young men were right were I was in my struggles growing up. I sensed that they were tempted and struggling in similar areas that I struggled with growing up, such as; identity, searching for self, and the, temptations common to every red blooded male; lust, pornography, setting Godly standards in dating relationships, and so forth. That hurt! Why? Because, I knew first hand the shame and guilt that I felt when I was choosing not to live a 100% pure life that is according to Gods standards! Unbeknownst to those young men, my heart ached for them.

I went home for our typical Sunday lunch and afternoon nap. However, during this nap I recall wrestling with the Lord. At least that’s what I assumed wrestling with the Lord would be like. I was not sure, since this was a first! For the first half of the nap, I was tossing and turning and part way through, in a dreamy daze, I said, “Yes, Lord.” I then fell asleep. That stuck with me. Actually it scared me!!

What did I say yes to?
What did it mean?
What cost would I have to pay?
Would I be willing to pay that price?

It now saddens me to think I even had those questions. I didn't know what to do so I shared this with, my accountability partner, Brad Powell. He suggested visiting with the minister of college and young adults at First Wesleyan, Lance Sisco. I scheduled a lunch meeting with Lance and First Wesleyan Sr. Pastor, Joe Colaw on February 12, 2003. It went very well. I explained what had happened that Sunday morning, how I had said yes. Yes, but to what? I explained that as a youth I had struggles and temptations with lust, pornography, knowing and applying appropriate behavior during dating. I perceived that these young men attempting to live Godly lives were experiencing the same struggles and temptations. Growing up in a small south east Kansas town in the Methodist Church there was no body Godly there that made themselves available for the young men to honestly and openly guide, mentor and hold those of us attempting to live for Christ, accountable. I looked around and realized things have not changed in nearly twenty years. There is still nobody there for them to lean on and learn what is and is not acceptable and WHY? I want to change that. I want men in FWC to be spiritually mature enough to take on the tough issues even if these issues were difficult to discuss, men to be there for other men of FWC, boys, teens, and college age, as a shoulder to lean on, an ear that will listen and a person that will not cast judgment. I’ve got two sons growing up in FWC and I want someone to be there for them. There was no one there for me. How I wish there would have been.

One of my biggest desires is to rise up Godly men to be there for our upcoming young men so they do not have to be alone as they transition into manhood. During the meeting, Pastor Joe confirmed that a ministry of this sort was very much needed. OK *We need Godly men to live Godly lives in an ungodly world. *We need Godly men to grow in Godly truths and be available for our young men when needed. *We need men who are honest with each other and transparent before God and one another.

However, it wasn’t that easy. You see, during that conversation with the pastors, I had not been completely honest. I was afraid to be transparent. I knew what I failed to share and God did too. He wanted more and began to work on me to get more of me! - Ephesians 5:3-4

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or course joking, which are out of place. - Ephesians 5:3-4

As I began this journey I became more and more in tuned with the voice of the Lord. He spoke to me in many ways; morning devotions, Sunday morning sermons, Sunday morning praise and worship songs. One such song that made an impact on me was a Michael W. Smiths song:

Michael W. Smith – Worship
Purified

Where the angles see
You praised, as you should be
But how can I express
My yearning for Your holiness
May it be (that)

I will open up my heart
Search me in the deepest part
And I will stand in cleansing fire
By You, purified
By You I’m purified

Savior of my soul
To your strength I yield control
Purge me from my stain
Sin will lose its mortal reign
Make me free

By You, I’m purified after standing in the cleansing fire.

Malachi 3:3 - “He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.”

I was that silver that needed purified. Well here goes.

As I said, I never really came 100% clean. I danced around the various issues such as lust, pornography, and impure thoughts. Those are pretty safe, common to every red blooded American male. My bad!! I'd kept thinking and saying in Bible Study Group that one of our biggest problems we face in the N. American church with men is pride. Pride was standing in the way of me having a transparent relationship with Christ and with my fellow brothers in Christ. I realize that I was just a guilty as every other man. I was too prideful admit to Joe and Lance where my true struggles were. So I took the manly approach -I drafted an email to Pastor Joe and spilled my guts, in tears. Pastor Joe is so good; FWC is very blessed to have a man after God’s own heart as our Sr. pastor! Thank heavens we serve a loving and understanding God that sent His one and only Son for me! Wow...simply mind-boggling. The email was addressed to Joe and went something like this:

Last week when I was describing the areas of sin that men are so easily drawn to like impure thought life, lust, pornography so on and so forth. I danced around one that has been my BIGGEST struggle for many years. It's one that nobody wants to talk about and our society has classified it as taboo. But it's one that I guarantee 99% of all college age men struggle with. What I'm describing is the whole gamut of masturbation. I can attest to the damages it causes. I bet you anything that those young men that I worshiped with that Sunday, if totally honest, would understand exactly what I'm talking about. This is an area that I've struggled with for years. I couldn't get it under control by myself, among other things it took an accountability partner that loved me and understood me and was willing to hold me accountable week after week. A person that struggles in an area like this can appear to have it together to everyone on the outside.

Well, I said it, embarrassed, ashamed and humiliated, but I said it! Rich Warren writes in his book titled, “Purpose Driven Life” the following about the problems we face in life and those problems do for us:

Focus on God.
Draw you closer to others in fellowship
Build Christ like character
Provide you with a ministry
Give you a testimony
Did you get number four? They provide you with a ministry!

Our Plan:
We knew we needed to equip a number of men for this ministry. Joe and I each pulled together a list of men’s names that were invited to a cook out at our house. I recall having nine men show up. We ate and visited and then I started sharing what had occurred and the vision I had. You could have heard a pin drop! Following that presentation we met four different Wednesday evenings the summer of 2003 for a meal followed by a break out study where the wives went with Dawn Marie and us men went with Joe. We knew sexual purity would be only one slice of the pie so we blitzed through Patrick Morey’s Man in the Mirror book.

I have to be honest. Before heading into this I guess I felt the need to confirm that we were on the right track. So, I shared with a total of five different men what I was preparing to do. These were Christian men, both single and married. Four of the five admitted to having the same struggle! I guess I was on the right track, just didn’t realize at the time just how big and long that track was!

Our plan went something like this:
Phase I - Pastor Lance’s College and Career Sunday School Class
Phase II – Pastor Eric’s High School Boys
Phase III – FWC as a whole

Before continuing on, I want to draw your attention to the beginning of this testimony when I was sitting in worship service! Remember, I said it was real good. The Spirit was definitely present! I want to keep the time line in focus for you in order for you to understand how God works when we remove sin that stands as a barrier between us and Him.

1998-1999 Time frame – I recall praying something that I now believe November 2001 – Started purging sin from my life through accountability January 2003 – Awesome worship! When sin is removed, the barrier that stands between God and me was removed, allowing me to come into His presence as never before! September 2003 – Phase I began overcoming sinful patterns,

What Worked for Me:
1. Desire to change – when the pain exceeded the pleasure I was receiving I knew it was time for change. 2 Corinthians 5:10 “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he as done; whether good or bad.”

Simply stated, we will all be accountable for every word, thought and action is reason enough to desire change. Hebrews 10 warns us of the consequences to continuing in sin once we know to be wrong and inappropriate for Christians. I knew that needed cleaned up.

Hebrews 10:26-27 26 For if we sin deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, 27 but a fearful prospect of judgment, and a fury of fire which will consume the adversaries.

I also realized that my sin and continuation in sin grieved the Spirit. That truth hurt me. After all that God has done form ME, how could I continue doing what I knew hurt him. My friend, best friend who has never left or forsaken me. I was time for a change!

Accountability Partner:

Accountability: Proverbs 27:17 - “Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

I started meeting with Brad in November 2001. I knew all along what area of my life needed to be completely surrendered to God. So, the first time Brad and I met for accountability I just spilled it. It went something like this. "I masturbate and I need to quit". It's gotten out of hand, no pun intended. : ) My thought life is in the gutter plus it’s hurting to my wife. Needless to say, Brad was a little shocked but respected my boldness and honesty! I praise the Lord for Godly men like him. Week after week, month after month and now going on year after year, Brad’s there for me. Since beginning accountability with Brad, I have done very well in that area. I still have struggles at times. Some times it’s more of a struggle than others. I know if I give into temptation, Brad’s there and I’ll have to admit that I failed. It got me thinking. If Steve Russell has been burdened with guilt over the past twenty + years because of this, how many other young Christian men also struggle? I'm guessing 99.99%!

I have broken the code of silence! I pray that my honesty and transparency will allow others to feel safe to break the bonds of sin in their lives!

Ezekiel 22:30 - “And I searched for a man among them who should build up the wall and stand in the gap before Me for the land; but I found no one.”

I’ve told the Lord that I would stand in the gap for the young men at Oklahoma Wesleyan University. I did not fully understand what that means. I do now! Standing in the gap for a person or persons requires me to literally take on the burdens of that cause. In this case, I would be taking on their temptations and dealing with them. For this reason, I don’t enter into this half hearted. It’s serious stuff. It also explains the on going struggle with temptation in this area of my life. It is truly a daily battle.

I knew what worked for me. It was not just prayer! It was not just a good book! It was not just the desire to change! I had at one time or another had each of these! For me it took another element in conjunction, accountability!

PureHeart Ministries was born!

God continues to speak to me more and more clearly. He continues to sharpen His vision for this ministry!

Praise God!